Explaining Us
I phoned the costume fitter at work on Tuesday morning, prior to rehearsal, and asked her if we could have a lunch date. I have known her many years so this wouldn't seem strange. She agreed to meet with me and we ended up going for coffee instead as it was earlier in the day.
She seemed very comfortable and friendly as ever, which made me almost think that things were fine after all and didn't need explaining. But I also was thinking about going home afterward and admitting to Daddy that I hadn't told her and wondering how he would react to that. I suspect he wouldn't have been pleased.
So I just said, "--------, I noticed the other day during my fitting that you saw I had some marks on my thighs and ummmm... bottom (gulp). I noticed you were looking at them and I hoped maybe I could explain to you in case you were concerned."
She: "I wasn't concerned, no."
Me: "You weren't?"
She: "No love, it's none of my business."
Me: "Oh. Well. Umm. (stammer stutter gulp) I just wanted to make
sure you weren't worried about me."
She: "No dear. Not for a minute. I've been in this business a long time,
you see."
Me: "Oh. Alright then. I just wanted to make sure you knew it was all -
uhhhh - consensual."
She: "Of course love. Don't give it another thought."
(enormous awkward pause)
Me: "When you said you've been in this business a long time, did you
mean you've seen things like this before?"
She: "Of course!"
Me: (astonished) "Really? Anyone on OUR cast?"
She: (laughing) "Honey, I cannot disclose that kind of information. It's
personal."
Me: (suddenly realising this means she won't tell anyone about me
either) "Oh yes, of course. Right. Yes. Thank you."
(mad fast sipping)
She: "Shall we get back to work then?"
Me: "Yes please."
(exeunt)
And THAT was that. It was easier than I thought it would be in many ways. I am looking back on it now and wondering why part of me was almost a little disappointed that there wasn't more to it. I imagine my life with Daddy, at times, to be completely shocking, so much so in fact that I think I almost felt let down that she wasn't a little more distressed or curious or worried or something. I must be crazy to think like that! How could I want to upset and worry a little old lady?
On the other hand, I was also relieved that she was handling it so well, particularly after she had seemed so uncomfortable the other day during the fitting. But perhaps I was projecting my own discomfort upon her and imagining she was more concerned than she truly was.
It has been an interesting experience, at any rate. This is only the second time in my life that I have had this kind of information shared with anyone outside the lifestyle. The other time it was Daddy who told some people, and that was much more embarrassing than this was in the end.
Note to Ms Deidre: It's Juno and the Paycock (Sean O'Casey) that I am working on presently. It's a lovely depressing story and I have had to work VERY hard on my accent so I match everyone else! (I'm originally from the States too.) Sometimes that accent works in my favour but not when we're performing the old Irish classics!
She seemed very comfortable and friendly as ever, which made me almost think that things were fine after all and didn't need explaining. But I also was thinking about going home afterward and admitting to Daddy that I hadn't told her and wondering how he would react to that. I suspect he wouldn't have been pleased.
So I just said, "--------, I noticed the other day during my fitting that you saw I had some marks on my thighs and ummmm... bottom (gulp). I noticed you were looking at them and I hoped maybe I could explain to you in case you were concerned."
She: "I wasn't concerned, no."
Me: "You weren't?"
She: "No love, it's none of my business."
Me: "Oh. Well. Umm. (stammer stutter gulp) I just wanted to make
sure you weren't worried about me."
She: "No dear. Not for a minute. I've been in this business a long time,
you see."
Me: "Oh. Alright then. I just wanted to make sure you knew it was all -
uhhhh - consensual."
She: "Of course love. Don't give it another thought."
(enormous awkward pause)
Me: "When you said you've been in this business a long time, did you
mean you've seen things like this before?"
She: "Of course!"
Me: (astonished) "Really? Anyone on OUR cast?"
She: (laughing) "Honey, I cannot disclose that kind of information. It's
personal."
Me: (suddenly realising this means she won't tell anyone about me
either) "Oh yes, of course. Right. Yes. Thank you."
(mad fast sipping)
She: "Shall we get back to work then?"
Me: "Yes please."
(exeunt)
And THAT was that. It was easier than I thought it would be in many ways. I am looking back on it now and wondering why part of me was almost a little disappointed that there wasn't more to it. I imagine my life with Daddy, at times, to be completely shocking, so much so in fact that I think I almost felt let down that she wasn't a little more distressed or curious or worried or something. I must be crazy to think like that! How could I want to upset and worry a little old lady?
On the other hand, I was also relieved that she was handling it so well, particularly after she had seemed so uncomfortable the other day during the fitting. But perhaps I was projecting my own discomfort upon her and imagining she was more concerned than she truly was.
It has been an interesting experience, at any rate. This is only the second time in my life that I have had this kind of information shared with anyone outside the lifestyle. The other time it was Daddy who told some people, and that was much more embarrassing than this was in the end.
Note to Ms Deidre: It's Juno and the Paycock (Sean O'Casey) that I am working on presently. It's a lovely depressing story and I have had to work VERY hard on my accent so I match everyone else! (I'm originally from the States too.) Sometimes that accent works in my favour but not when we're performing the old Irish classics!
posted by Ireland's daughter at Sunday, November 27, 2005
3 Comments:
*hugs* I'm so glad that it all worked out for the best ...
Sometimes it can be a little bit of a let down when you realize that your lifestyle isn't as "weird" as you might think and you've psyched yourself up for a huge explanation, only to be left with "Oh that's old hat ... I've seen much worse."
But, at the end of the day, it's better to know you are in good company, yes?
I don't know Juno and Paycock, will have to look it up ... Sounds wonderful, though. What part of the US are you originally from?
*much love*
Miss Deidre
In good company, yes. *hugs back* Sometimes I long to belong to some kind of community where these sorts of things can be discussed and shared openly. Thank goodness the internet allows us to find each other, at least virtually.
I was born in Seattle, WA, but lived a misspent youth crossing back and forth across the Canadian border (between divorced parents) to Vancouver, BC.. I met Daddy here when I was doing my summer of "finding myself", backpacking through Europe, working in a pub to earn enough to get to the next country. He ordered a Guiness (which should have been warning enough!) and then later in the evening suggested we meet again.
On our first date he told me that nobody finds themself in Europe but he felt lucky that people in the US seem to think so, because he me the most interesting American women that way!
(Oh, daddy's little one, I'm going to ask my Daddy to tell that story instead of me. Somehow I just don't think I can do his cruelty justice in my recounting.)
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